The truth is I’m a fairly hopeless declutterer! Yup, I can own it! Whilst I HAVE made big progress over the years there is little that’s methodical or clinical about my approach! Marie Kondo would have a field day!

When I get the decluttering bug, I pull out everything - and I mean everything! I literally take the house apart, and then slowly - and again, I mean slowly - work my way through everything.

I pick things up and think to myself “I might need/use this”, or “I can’t get rid of this - it was a gift”! I convince myself that I should keep that smaller skirt, because, yes, I’ll be that size again, in 12 short weeks!

Over the years I’ve become more observant of my behaviour – my attachments -- and more and more is thrown away, or bagged up for the Salvation Army. Yay for me!

But years ago I took my “decluttering distraction” to all new heights – I actually sat down and started reading all my old journals! Little did I know it would lead to a great insight about my follow through on my biggest goals!

Yup, this was the year I got a really unexpected, and slightly painful experience, of seeing a real pattern about how I’d been living my life.

Reading the pages of my journals I saw entry, after entry, after entry, that read something like this –

“I’ve had enough! I AM I’m transforming [fill in the blank] now”

“This IS it! I’m [fill in the blank] NOW”

“Adri, this is the moment you change your life! Today is the day you start/stop [fill in the blank]”

“Faaarkk, I’ve wasted so much time! If only I had done [fill in the blank] last year! Imagine how far ahead you’d be? So now I commit to [fill in the blank]”

These statements were threaded throughout ALL my journals and notes about by goals! First the realisation came AND then came the self-beat up!

WTF! Was my initial reaction!

Then a light went on – Huh, if I was “transforming NOW” why were the list of changes I wanted the same year in, year out? Why hadn’t I ever really followed through?

I sat there, in the face of this rather unfortunate enlightenment - in the realisation that I actually had never been truly committed to finding a way - my “commitments” had clearly been negotiable! Shall we say, they were more like making a wish! Can you relate?

Thankfully this insight helped me tweak what I was doing to turn things around and stay on track with my goals. Excellence is on the other side of action, and so that became a guiding force – I had to decide what was the “right” next step AND then I had to take action!

AND I had to make my commitments non-negotiable!

They say some 80% of new year’s resolutions have “failed” by early February. I’d say they’ve often never got passed the first day, or week of January.

Often within an hour or two of passionately writing or talking about the “new me” we’ve already start rethinking our “commitment”, or adding some kind of exceptions to the new “decision”.

Often goes something like this;

“Oh I’ll start after the party this weekend”

“I’ll just get this project done at work, then I’ll plan my time for [fill in the blank]”

“I couldn’t do [fill in the blank] today, because..”

“ what is I fail? I’m not experienced enough to achieve [fill in the blank]”

“I’m so tired – tomorrow”

Sound familiar?

BUT why? Whhhhhyyyyy?

We REALLY DO want that change, right?!

Why then do we make it ok to stay where we are. To bullshit ourselves over and over that we will start “tomorrow”?

Why don’t we follow through?

Why is it ok to break promises to ourselves? Just imagine the relationship woes if our partners, or friends broke their word to us as much as we do to ourselves? Ekk?!

The truth is we tend to stick to what we already do – OUR HABITS – because they are comfortable. They are known and easy! Change is often effort AND uncomfortable.

When we start to change, or even just think about starting [or stopping] a behaviour, our brain pipes up with all the reasons why this is uncomfortable, scary, hard etc. Our brain wants to keep us safe, and safe is “doing the same old, same old”. Safe is remaining within our comfort zone (emotionally, physically, spiritually). OR, so we think.

So, quick question ‑ did you set any goals for yourself this year? Or last year for that matter? Here we are, mid-February 2021. It feels like the blink of an eye and January is over – so, how are you tracking?

If you are a highly skilled commitment breaker, it’s time to stop beating yourself up about it. Seriously, that’s is just a waste of your precious energy and time! Be gentle with yourself, and know you are not the only one! AND know that you can change.

Decide that this is the year you’re going to make [fill in the blank] happen! AND give yourself the gift of following through!

Remember, excellence is on the other side of action!

I don’t care if it’s excellence in your health, your relationships, your creativity, your business – it’s action that moves your forward.

Decide you’ll find a way. Get some help and support if you need it.

Set yourself up to win! Know WHY you want this goal, this change? Decide WHO you have to become/be to make this a reality. Take small daily steps toward that goal! Celebrate your success.

And hey, if on one day you fail to follow through – don’t give up – just dust yourself off and get started again!

You got this!

Here’s to us all creating a beautiful 2021. Make 2021 Transformation Year!